Posted by Nels Johnson on January 5, 2016 at 8:12pm
First, here are some valuable points about the show, then we will get into a typical Nels Blog.Produced by the Naples Art Center, find it on JAS.Booth fee $450.00 (a little too much considering the average return on your investment--but then, they are all now greedy bastards, most art show promoters.Quad style layout--four booths to a quad, everybody gets a corner but little storage room behind the booth,unless you luck out and get a jeweler behind you.(yeah jewelers)Setup is early Sat. Morning after 3:30 am (yuck!)Parking is in another country (At least it feels that way)They do offer parking downtown at two lots for $50.This is a two day show.Over 250 exhibitors--lots of competition.OK there is the nuts and bolts in case that is all you are interested in. For those of you who love the biz we do-- read on while I regale you with tales of astonishment and fantastic feats accomplished against overwhelming odds.Now with the new Star Wars out, we must amp the blogs up a bit, if only I had animation.Nels first blog of the year 2016Once upon a time in a land far south of the Mecca known as New York City two stalwart artists named Nels and Ellen, set off on a daunting voyage to invade the riches of Naples, down in Florida.Between them these two artist-warriors had 80 years experience in their field of expertise--photos and pastel-- had attended more than 2300 art shows, sometimes they prospered very well, other times they ran home in their vans licking their wounds.It was a deadly terrain ruled by autonomous art associations and high and mighty art promoters.Naples was a noble venue known for rich nobles visiting from afar, some who lived further away than Georgia, some came from that distant galaxy known as Europe.On the trip from their nest in Ybor City to Naples, Nels was ambushed by by a distracted driver on the great white venue known as Interstate 75.The driver was alongside Nels in what we quaintly call the slow lane. All of a sudden the driver lunged violently into Nels with his towed vehicle swerving precariously into his path.Nels was beset and pissed off. First off, he could not figure out why the guy moved over on him. Was the guy on the phone with the Donald?Quickly Nels jammed on his brakes hard, yanked his steering column hard left, and mentally,gave the offender the fickle upward single finger.There was a water-filled moat to his very left, there were hissing alligators greedily awaitingi his misfortune. Luckily, the offender came to his senses and swerved back a hard right. Nels missed him by a foot. One more foot to the left and he would have been alligator sushi.Ah! Another tale to tell around the Sushi Dens of Naples.Nels and Ellen barely made it in time to find out where they could sell their wares. The Naples Lordship shut done his services at 4pm. Latecomers would have to wait til morn.They both made it with a minute to spare.Nels regaled his fellow artists in line with the tales of his recent derring do. Some fellow artists like the Jeweler known as Phil from Erin, thought that Nels looked a little pale. Maybe these tales were taking a toll on Nels.Nels thought, "Hell with Phil, a little Jack on the rocks will smooth everything--and, it did."After checking in and registering their validity of their wares, Nels and Ellen sought nourishment, mostly of the alcoholic type. They found it at a happy place known as the Bonefish Grill. And, it happened to be Happy Hour, and they both got very happyon fish and mild grog. They retired to a great place known as the Red Roof Inn. They were excited because they had two free night certificates which lowered their risk of not making an honest wage this very weekend.They slept very contentedly til the evil invention by the Lord Jobs awakened them at the early hours of 4 am in the morning.Nels usually never would awaken this early for any art show. The same with the lovely Ellen. Although she would do it for a prosperous adventure in far off Chicago known as the "Old Town Art Fair.Sadly, they were not posted side by side. They both motored off to find ample advantage in setting up their booths and stocking them with alluring wares.The people of Naples were known for their riches and proclivity for images of Florida dear.Against great odds and aching muscles they engineered a perfect booth for each of them.Charmingly, Nels realized he was setting up in a quad known as the Comedy Corner. How devilish of the Naples director to put two photographers who both did humorous images side by side. What vision. We could only hope his bolster vision would prosper us. In the end, against great odds, we did prosper.The event opened at 10 am under very foggy, humid sky. The natives, and tourists, were a bit reclusive.Before noon a great land rush of swarming peoples descended upon the artisans. Speaking in tongues of Brooklyn, Sweden,German and English, they hungerily sought out and spent their riches upon many of us. All media were seen being carried off, although I think I missed a Helen of Troy, I did witness at least two of Scott of the Mississippi's Causey go by me.They riches stopped flowing by two- and we settled into lethargy and afternoon doldrums.By day's end, Nels and Ellen were very happy. When polling his favored artists most were very happy and we're looking forward to Happy Hour.Most agreed that a minemum of $1.5K was achieved for the day and many more were over $3K for the day. It was a good sign for the beginning of 2016.There was a certain amount of grumbling going on that day.It was announced on Facebook and other social sites that two other rival Art Show Lords had set up equal ventures at nearby venues with the charming names of Coconut Point and Estero. So the rich folk were being lured in many directions.Nels noticed thru the day that he could throw the proverbial "cinder Block" out of his booth and not hit anybody. Not a good sign at noon of an art fair.The folk that he got into his booth spent very well, he just needed more of them.Sunday dawned and damn if we didn't have to put on sweaters.Again, the natives were reclusive, and then before noon riches fell from the sky upon us.We prospered well, until 2pm, and then the dreadful rumored rains showed up, two hours earlier than what the Wizard known as the Weather Channel had predicted.Amazingly, the new show director had a moment of great clarity. He saw there would be a lull in the weather before heavier storms befell us. He issued a directive, those who felt their stock was threatened could pack up early and load out. But, no vans onsite til 5.Many, including me and Ellen did just that.We were on our way back to Ybor before five. We were going home happy and rich. Most of my kinsmen were equally happy.We would all live to sell another day.May the force, and good commerce, be with us all in 2016.Everything I said is true, none of it has been Photoshopped.
Comments
Thanks for starting our New Year out with this fun review.
Fun reading, Nels! Glad things went so well for you and Ellen.
Good! I better fortify those walls!
Love it! Thanks for the entertaining review, Nels. I just hope those rich noblemen and women will still be around Naples for the one in Cambier Park.