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OK, nobody sent me the can of spray, so we took Barry to dinner and had a delicious

conversation.  So we decided to be history-making on this site by doing the first duo blog live between two AFI icons, at least in our own minds.  So, from this point on the rules are: I get to ask Barry a question, he answers, then he asks me.  If you got nothing better to do, read on.  Who knows we all might learn something. 

Barry: So Nels, you are such a lamer, where did you learn to type? Nels types with 2 fingers.

 Nels:  Barry, when you have had three vodka martinis, and a bottle of wine at Berninis, you are lucky if you can even find the keyboard.  I flunked basic typing in high school, but I did get laid by the teacher.

Nels:  So Barry, how long have you had this curious affectation for blonde women who begin websites?

Barry: (after 4 or is it 5 martinis?). I take the fifth!!

Barry: Nels were you always this funny? Tonight has been a laugh riot.

Nels:  I could reply better if you got out of the way of my left hand, this is internet encrochment, Barry, i expected better manners out of a boy from Marquette--oh, that's right you are not really from there.  You throw a mean pastie.  Where did you come from originally.  Enjoy this, it is the only softball you are going to get from me tonite, not bad for a two-fingered hand-pecker, eh boy.

Oh Barry, thank God my  english teacher is not diagramming this sentence.

Barry: You'd throw better if you used your left hand. Take it out of your pocket. Next time I'm going to bring frozen pasties.  I'm from De-troit so watch your back, mofo.

Nels:  So Barry let's get serious, enough of the softies--what I want to know is this--when you roomed with Munks, what color undies did he wear?  Curious minds need to know.

Barry: Munks wears underwear?  It must have been a special night.  And, what was he wearing at the Uptown show?

Nels: Ok Barry, enough, here is a real toughie.  You aint doing shit in Florida shows so far, so when are you coming over to the dark side?  Will your photos be on canvas, or will you step outside the box and maybe do then pastie-encrusred?  MaryAnne might like that a lot--you might even get in ahead of Jack or Sir Jim from Naples.

Barry: Nels, every time you go into another room, I get out my trusty I-phone and capture all your images.  I hear that's the way you do it.  I think photos on canvas is the way to go. I went out and bought staples, from Staples and I'm all set. After all, the best artist is the one who sells the most and I can get at least $30 for each of those photos.  I want to be successful. Maybe I'll even win all the "best of shows."

Nels:  Have another puff Barry, that is so fishy.  To be essentially within oneself, you must wrap your imagination amongst sweet-potato hogfish.  the cream will run down the stream.

Barry: Huh? Speak English.  So Nels, now that you've exhausted all your ideas, what's next for you?  Are you going to try another medium? You know you would make a pretty good  wine taster.. On second thought, you'd probably get fired for opening all the bottles and tasting the contents. 

Nels: As long there are bathrooms to shoot before Fulwiler and Sargant I am golden.  If they catch up to me, then I am just going to do Golden Margaritas at art shows and not worry about competition.  In reality, I can never, ever, asay a bad word about Bill, he is a prince.

Nels:  It sure is hard remembering whose question leads off first. So here goes.  Is there life after art shows, or do you just cop out and die in your booth and let somebody else pile it into your van, and then wait for the paramedics to revive you?  Worked for Alan Teger at the Deco Show in the 80's.  God bless he is still around.

Barry: I have this one figured out.  I'm going to die in my studio.  After 5 or 6 days someone will ask the question: "Where's Barry?"  They'll follow the smell.

Barry: So Nels, what's your next show(I hate when they ask me this question).

Nels: I always take the easy way out, I just say I live in the moment--I don't need no stinking art shows.

Barry: "...stinking art shows. Do you know what you are referencing?

Nels:  Eh Barry, this is a Cheech and Chong moment--everybody knows what I know, even if I don't know what I know. 

Barry: Do I have to teach you everything?  The actual phrase is "Badges? We don't wear no stinking badges." The original is from "The Treasure of Sierra Madre" and Mel Brooks stole it for a line in "Blazing Saddles" one of my all time favorite movies.

Barry: What's your favorite movie?

Nels:  First off, you are one crazy misplaced mid-westerner.  Fricking "badges."  Eh, when did you move to Wisconsin?  I am a Humphry Bogart kind o guy with a little Alan Ladd thrown in with a little dose of Micky Rourke.

Nels:Since we starting to throw hardballs,Barry, here comes a toughie(oh I gotta take a leak, be right back with a goodie)

Barry: Bring it on Nelsy boy. What was the name of that movie with Mickey Rourke and Eric Roberts? It's the one where they cut off Eric Roberts thumb for being a wise guy.

Nels:  Barry, have another shot of tequila--keep it on thread--let's get back to reality.  After art shows, what's left for a guy fromMarquette, Michigan?  are you going to be a show promoter? Lots of role-model s out there.  You could go in the week before an established show and do your own, seems to work for some people.  Or you could start shows and stand up in a big tower and yell commands at all the underlings, that seems to work south of Englewood.  Or you could strut around and cut them all off at their balls like some do down that way too.  Or you could be "King barry."  What model fits your style?  Curious minds need to know, we don't care if we never get into another art show.  See tags, Nels.

Barry: After art shows I thought I would hang out in Boca Grande and meet a rich widow.  If that doesn't work I could go into producing shows.  All my shows would be in the same town as a major show except I would have mine the week before. That makes sense to me.  At first I would charge a small show fee and have large prizes. As my shows became more in demand, I would triple the booth fee, cut the prize money, and charge admission.  Did I mention that I would have 2 porta-potties for 300 artists? And, let them drink tap water.

Nels:  Here is the real hardball, I have been waiting all evening to ask.  If I buy you breakfeast and feed you more tequila, can you blow into Connie's ear and get me into Arts, Beats and Eats?  I know you have certain knowledge that I would love to tap into.  

Barry: Sure, but only if I get to sleep on your couch tonight. I've had too much tequila to drive anywhere.

Nels:You are right, Connie only wants real artists.  That leaves most of us out.  You are a real moocher.

Barry: After seeing that picture of the crowds that Connie posted yesterday, I probably won't get in either.  We'll have to start that other show on the same date. We will call it  the Sir Richard Alan Upper Naples art Street  Buy-Sell Extravaganza in Ferndale.

That's all folks, we are out of tequila.  Aloha, Nels and Barry. 

OK. I was off chasing birdies this morning, got one good one, and now I am ready to report.

Ah, Vero Beach, early March.  Think cooling breezes, falling pollen (from the oak trees), think overwhelming citrus blossoms in the air, think cool artist party at Alan and Barbara's, and most of all, think great sales.

I have done this show,off and on, for more than 20 years.  Don't get in every year.  It is an overwhelming winner, for me, most years. Always one of my best three spring shows in Florida.  This year was the same.  It ended up being my best show in 2011.

What's not to like about this show.  First off, it is the very antithesis of Gasparilla.  Instead of a hard schlep up the hill, you can park right behind your booth.  And eureka, you get to start packing out at 4 pm on Sunday, what a concept.

The show is held out on the beachside by a very classy art center, think serious money.  Booths are aligned around a circular roadway with booths on both sides. You are in a big park with lots of oak trees.  You can park behind, there is plenty of space for inventory, and even showing on one side.  Then, you got people with disposable income who show up ready to buy art.  Also there are not a lot of other shows in the area like Naples and Bonita.

Ok.  This show is not for everyone of us.  If you do cutting edge art, you are gonna die here.  
y neighbor certainly did.  I don't think he cracked $500 for the show--and he gets in all the biggies.  The crowd is mostly upper-fiftyhish, and that is putting it kindly.  They are mostly east coasters who spend their winters here.  They like mostly traditional work.  And when thery like what you do, they buy it by the thousands. 

This year, on the the average, most exhibitors made at least a paycheck, and then lots of us had a real show where me made moola.

So, Ellen and I headed out Thursday around 11 am from Tampa.  The stormy front had blew thru us and left a half inch of rain on the ground.  We figured it would be thru Vero by the time we arrived after 2pm.  I just love how a good plan can actually succeed.  We chased the storm and got to the park around 2:30, it was pretty quiet, but no rain, it was gone by.  Amen!

Easy mellow setup for everybody.  No hassles.  Again this was the direct opposite of Gasparilla last weekend.  Thank God for the ying and the yang.  Couldn't have come at a better time.

We set up, got out by 5pm and checked in at the hotel.  Did the Olive Garden that night, nothing exciting, but it was satisfying--of course anything is after three Jack Daniels Manhattens.

Dumb us.  We thought it would be just nice and toasty.  Neither of us brought a jacket or a vest.  It was very crispy Friday morning.  Very,very crispy.  My ass almost cracked in half.

Friday crowds arrived early and were searching for art.  For a lot of us it was a great day with many having sales over $2K for the day.  A wood-turner, newly acquired friend( I don't know if he was trying to bribe me, but he said he was going to bring me some authentic North carolina moonshine so I could do a "Moonshine report." But he couldn't get the alcohol) started off with a gentleman coming in and buying three of his best pieces right of the bat.  He was a happy camper.  Ellen sold a biggie early.  Bill SARGENT, did I spell it right?, sold a great original image of his, later he got an award, he was a happy camper too.  But, there there where many who bartely made expenses.  The show was crowded with people.

There is a wonderful restaurant right under the bridge aside the show called the Riverside Cafe.  Every year, I leave my booth for an hour and go over there and have a fish sandwich with a tequila and a beer.  The boothsitter will only stay for a half an hour, and I take an hour, but I don't care.  Life is too short.  I did it Friday and Saturday, I don't care if I lost a bejillion dollars in sales, it is always worth it to me.  I figure if they want it that bad, they will come back, and most do.

So Friday night, the show puts on a great free artist feed for us.  How they get the food out to people can leave a little conjecture in some of our hearts.  But it is good food, delivered with good intentions, and what the heck, if some of you have to wait a hour-and-a-half to get it,don't complain, the price is right.  It is a good feed at the art center.  They announce the awards there too.  Me and Ellen skipped it, went for great thai and Sushi at Siam Orchid.  Just me, but I would rather pay for my own dinner and get what I want.

Saturday brought more great cool, crispy weather with a very odd, mostly non-buying crowd.  People were there by the hoards.  When I went to the Cafe around 2 pm, the cars were backed up over the bridge waiting to get into Riverside Park where the show is held.  Not lots of art in anybody's hand.  I sold mostly little packaged pieces of paper all day, barely it $1400 in sales, and this is supposed to be the strong day.

Ellen and I went for sushi again--only after attending the annual party at Barbara Krupp and Alan Tegers house'.this is a party not to be missed.

They live in a gorgeous house by the ocean, a architectural masterpiece replete with beautiful gardens tended by Barbara, thinks orchids, lush botanicals, verdant palms.  Then there is the food.  Then there is the wine, then there is all the people who attend. It is an awesome party.

I tried a little trick that glass artist Andy Shea, from Minneapolis, showed me last year when we both attended.  He said, Nels, we are going to walk out of the party backwards, very slowly.  Just wave at everybody and say hello.  They all will think we are coming in."  That Andy he is one sharp watermelon.  Ellen and I tried it this year, and we were busted, everybody wanted to know where we were going.

We went to Siam Orchid for more sushi.  This place is so cheap and so good, it is not to be missed.

Sunday, dawned,crispy and clear.  I figured at best, we had three prime hours to sell.  Sunday show hours are 10am to 4pm.   I figured crowds wouldn't even show up til noon.

We did our usual Sunday number, find a Starbucks, get a New York Times, then find breakfeast and get to the show in time to get Ellen's van in "Position A"  (some day we will have to talk abou Position A, not now I don' t want to give up my advantage because of it, maybe when I retire we can talk about it).  My van was in position since Thursday.

Well, was I ever wrong.  In a good way.  Crowds were there at 9:30.  They started buying right away.  They bought all the way up to 3pm.  Finally, we were seeing people carrying large art objects in there hands.  The place was popping.

Overall, I think most artists were happy, a small number were not, but this show was a winner this year.