The title really says it all, but since this is a blog - I'll elaborate.
Last weekend I took my husband, under duress, to a fine art fair. Having exhibited at mostly local arts and crafts, I wanted to get a feel for fine arts and booth set ups. I also wanted him to check out how tents were weighted because I was hoping he'd take on that responsibility. Even though I told him it was fine art show, he still thought I was dragging him to another arts and "crap" show (his words). Admittedly, I gave up trying to explain fine art, especially in relation to jewelry.
Once parked, the husband thought he was going to just take a nap in the truck. No such luck for him. After I explained his role, we ate some greasy fair food and set off through the show. At some point we got separated because he thought I was spending too much time at a particular jewelry booth. When I explained that I was chatting with the artist, he scoffed "Artist???"
There's a lot about this whole scene that he just doesn't get. In his way, though, he is being supportive and really does want me to be successful. He finally understood what I wanted as far as weights and did go to the local masonry supply for cement blocks. And he'll lend muscle whenever he can. Yesterday was my first show with my new tent, so he met me there and helped set up. He doesn't quite understand that there are breakables in the Rubbermaid tub. Luckily, nothing broke when he tossed it to the ground. He forgot to lock the table legs - again, luckily, there were only a few things on it (and I was holding on) when one side collapsed.
I figured I was tearing down on my own at 5:00, but then my knight in shining armor rode up on his motorcycle.
Maybe some day, he'll "get it". In the meantime, I'll take whatever he's willing to offer.
Comments
"Are there any male artists out there who have similar spousal stories?"
Old but interesting thread. I find it puzzling that everyone is talking about spouse's being supportive of the artist's fair attendance, while nothing is said about being supportive of the artist/art! (This suggests/makes me wonder, if people who sell at art fairs end up losing track of what they were originally about.)
After 28 years of marriage I found the complete lack of support or understanding so intolerable, I walked away. That was 3+ years ago. Not one single moment of regret since; though I find I am still very angry the support was never there all those years.
Alone with no support is far superior to not alone... with no support. I really am surprised there are not more marital breakups (reported) over lack of support from a spouse.
Thanks Leslie! Sounds like it's a good thing your wife comes with you!
I have to admit, you had me a bit confused with that first post. ☺
Cute story.
I make all of the art. Keep all of the records, figure prices, track the budget... handle all of the applications and payments. Setup, break down, pack up, drive, pump gas... make all travel arrangements, fix anything that breaks, or needs modifications... carry the luggage...etc.
The first potential customers approaches me and asks, "Where do you get your ideas from?"
I completely forgot what I was supposed to say. My mind goes blank, except for this compulsive, focused horror that she ended her sentence with a prepositional phrase. The blood drains from my face, and I feel cold and clammy... as if I'm about to keel over. I'm sure that I looked quite like a "deer caught in the headlights."
My wife steps in and engages the lady into a long animated conversation. I'm barely able to comprehend what's being said, but after a few minutes one might assume that they were old friends who had grown up together. Before I knew it, she had sold one of my landscapes, exchanged contact information and secured a third down for a commission for a painting of the woman's consignment shop store front!
After a drawn out 'goodbye,' she turns to me... tucks the check into my shirt pocket, kisses me on the cheek, and returns to to her seat to resume reading her book.
My husband has always been my hero. There, you dislike me already, right?
He has supported me in every way in this venture: been the accountant, ordered the supplies(tent.etc.), picked the credit card user, set up the initial website shell, makes dinner when I have had a crazy day, drives and loads/unloads the truck, sits in the tent and tries to help with sales, books the hotel, gives me foot rubs.......
Is there a draw back?
And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see . . February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . . . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.
I'm with you Patricia, I'd love to hear from some of the male artists.
Michelle, I had a great conversation with my husband at 5 am this morning as I drove him to the airport. I mentioned wanting sta-bars and mesh panels and he didn't understand why. He commented that one of his co-workers asked how last weekend's show went, which means he had to have told her about it in the first place. Good sign. Then he did admitted that he felt bad because he has absolutely no interest in art fairs or arts and crafts fairs. There you have it! He'll help me set up and break down, but don't expect him to be excited about it. I'm not sure I'll be travelling too far on my own anytime in the near future. I'm not giving up, but I know it will be a slow process.
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