The Artist Etiquette discussion got me to thinking about a different kind of etiquette. Being aware of fellow artists disabilities and ABILITIES.
Allow me to begin this stream of consciousness posting, with a big THANK YOU to everyone who has lent me assistance. From rolling up side walls to helping with letting them down at night, there are a few things I just cannot do. There are many more things that I can do.
Recently a very nice lady asked if I needed help placing my hanging jewelry display boxes on the wall. I politely thanked her for her offer, but clearly said that I enjoyed working on my arrangement and that I was able to hang the pieces. She replied that she just hated seeing me struggling with the display an was going to help me anyway. She went on to tell me that I should not be too proud to ask for help. With that she took the box from my hands and hung it for me. I thanked her and said, I am not too proud to ask for help and I assure you that I'll be right over to your booth to ask for your assistance if I have any problems. She smiled and returned to her booth. I did not yet ask someone to help me roll the side walls up, instead they were just tucked back by the legs of the canopy (that I raised by myself).
I really appreciate the helpful folks at shows, but I'd like help when I want help and with what I need help. I have a sense of pride doing things like setting up the canopy, hanging and arranging my display, and even getting my lunch from the vendors. More than once I have had a well-meaning person take things out of my hands and say something like, "I can see you need help and I am going to help you -- like it or not." This behavior makes me feel helpless and as if I am being treated like a child. I do not want to seem ungrateful for the assistance, but all too often it is rendered because the person watching me is uncomfortable.
I will ask for help, I will accept assistance, I just want the decision to do so--to be mine.
Have others with "abilities" experienced the same behavior?
How do you handle it?
My thoughts...
Replies
I can empathize with you. My wife of 40 years has rheumatoid arthritis and due to some recent surgeries has been wheelchair bound for the past year and a half.
Let me assure all kind hearted and well wishing exhibitors that she is anything but "disabled"! Yes, she likes help opening heavy doors, but she has her dignity and will at least try to do it herself. Of course I help her whenever I can, and I know what I must and must not do.
So I have learned firsthand that unless exhibitors like Lois ask for assistance, I can do little more than offer my services.
BTW ... After the lady who insisted in helping me with the display left my booth, I waited a few minutes and then pulled the tent walls together and zipped them up so she would not have to hate "seeing me struggling."